Skin on skin

When I die I want to hold your hand
You said


And your earnest eyes looked up and searched mine
And implored me to say that it could be so
To promise that it would be so


And a salty drop formed unbidden in mine
And rolled slowly, silently, down my cheek
Dropping to lose itself in a million other drops
In the bath of water that held you, warmed you,
Yet failed to comfort you


And I ached to find the words to still your fears
To dry your tears and soothe your pain
But not to promise what I could not know
As I recalled the promises made to me
that time went on to prove could not be so


So I told you what my heart knew to be true
That my hand would hold yours tight
And I promised I would never let you go


Then with a perception beyond your tender years
You reached into my chest
And with your words tore out my aching heart


As you laid your small, wet hand on mine
And your little voice choked on your words
'But will it be like this? Will I feel your skin with my skin?'
And the oceans of pain in your deep brown eyes
Reflected the pain of the unknown in mine
As you touched my deepest fears with your own


The fear of loss
And the pain of separation
When those you love move on beyond your reach


And I heard my voice promising what I did not know
That wherever we may be
In time or in eternity
The love that is eternal
That was here before you came and that will remain when I am gone
Will be the endless thread that joins our hearts and hands


And that you will always feel my hand on yours


The touch of skin on skin




For my 'most precious thing' - my son
For whom I know a love the like of which I have never known before
And for whom I would give my all to protect
Only he has asked me questions that I cannot answer